Stopping the Stigma

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Holdyn, 20

Years Battling: 12

Posted January 11, 2019

"Since its national suicide prevention month, a reminder that suicide is something I take extremely seriously. I always have and always will. 1,591 days ago one of my best friends, Kaitlyn, took her own life. She was only 15 years old. I remember getting a news alert on my phone 2 days before my 16th birthday that said two students from Mira Loma High School had died, I immediately called Kaitlyn, and when she didn't answer my heart dropped into my stomach, and I waited for an update thinking she had gotten in a fatal car crash or accident of some sort, but the next day I received a call and was told she had killed herself. Losing a best friend was extremely difficult since I have dealt with depression for most of my life. Losing Kait was a catalyst in my life, it really showed me how much death affects everyone and how suicide can impact a community. It made me realize how much help is out there for depression and I seeked it, but I wish Kaitlyn would have. There is not a day that goes by where my heart doesn’t miss her. Every time my phone rings I still hope it’s her. It’s hard not to think of all the things she never got to do; never got her license, never went to prom, never graduated high school, never went to college. There is so much music she never got to hear and so many films she never got to watch. So many places that never felt her sunshine of a smile. I know these three posts aren’t makeup related but it’s important to talk about mental illness and suicide prevention. It’s important to remind people they are loved and needed. If you or a loved one is contemplating please reach out, please call your best friend and tell them, please call the suicide hotline. Everyone is needed, no matter what you think, you are needed. You are loved. Rest in peace baby Kait, I love you with my whole heart and miss you even more."